115: Finger Painting (Xavier)

warning: adult situations, adult language, partial nudity

"Hey, Tiger." Lee says as she waltzes into my room.

I look up and give her a sideways smile. "Hey, Lily."

She takes a deep breath and says, "I could get used to being called that. I think I like it better than my real name. My real name sounds too much like my sister's." She kisses the top of my head and her hair falls forward to brush my cheek.

I'm immediately turned on. It's almost irritating how quickly and easily that happens. I work on resisting it, but I'm like a coiled spring: one more little thing from her and I'm going to forget all about this sketch I'd been so absorbed in only a moment ago.

"So, what are you working on today?" she asks, leaning over me to see. There's a pleasant smell coming from just behind her ear.

We've been officially dating for about two months now, but I don't know if we shouldn't count for longer since I think I can reasonably say that most couples don't see each other every single day almost all day like we do. I mean, I have her prancing around in front of me every. single. day. There were even a few days when I was sick that she insisted that she take care of me. She wouldn't let me so much as kiss her on those days, so her "helping" just about drove me insane.

"Oh, nothing much really. Just started throwing colors on the paper to see what would happen." I respond to her question.

"There's alot of red." she remarks close behind my ear. Her arms are still around me, and even though she keeps trying to stick it behind her ear, her hair keeps sweeping forward to brush my cheek.

"I feel red today I guess." I say with a shrug. I hope she doesn't notice how I have my left hand clenched on my thigh.

"Do you remember finger painting? Red was my favorite color to finger paint." she says and starts running her finger across the back of my neck.

A vision of me finger painting her, naked of course, pops into my head unbidden. I take a deep breath.

She circles me and works her way between me and the drafting table before she whispers, "I'd like to finger paint you." She sits in my lap.

I drop my pencil and attack her without waiting a second longer.

Every time. Every damn time we make out she winds up stopping me. It's like she gets upset at me for reacting the way I do! I try to back off, but then she tempts me beyond my limits, like now, and I wind up attacking her, making her stop me sooner rather than later. Is she testing me to see how far I'll go? How much I can stand? I can't stand it!

My mouth leaves her panting as I work my way down her neck and say, "Lily, I was perfectly content to sit here and paint red."

"Red isn't a content color." she breathes.

I continue as if she hadn't interrupted me, "But then you come in here and prance around with your hair in my face and talk about finger painting and you expect me not to go insane."

"Who says that's not what I want?"

I pause as I try to figure that one out. I groan as I think, Girls. There's a trick or a trap here that I haven't found yet. Surely she doesn't mean what I really want her to mean.

I question, "So you want me to go insane? Well, you're very near the mark."

After a short pause, she says, "I don't know, Xavier. All I know is you look so damn hot sitting here painting that I just had to come over and make you as crazy as you make me."

"It worked." I say and laugh quietly. I flip my hair out of my eyes to smile up at her when her hand daringly moves down over my stomach to between my legs. I breathe real fast in surprise, but I don't move her hand. I mean, I want to move her hand but not away. OMG. She's doing it on her own! I look up at her again in a questioning way and the look in her eyes as her hand moves against me through my shorts makes me groan again.

My hands tightly grip her hips when she moves to unbutton my shorts. I keep wondering when she's going to stop. The is Lee after all.

I throw my head back and we groan simultaneously when her blessed hand finds me again. I feel her lips on my throat as I hold her to me, taking care to leave room for her continued ministrations.

"You like this?" she asks me from somewhere, picking up her tempo.

I manage to eek out an "oh hell yes".

I realize I might be making it alot more difficult for her to continue, but I just can't seem to help from squeezing her to me, clinging desperately to her and praying for her not to stop.

"Xavier?" she asks as I bury my face in her neck.

I whimper a response, "Oh, please, don't stop."

She pauses, and I want to die. Suddenly she's unsure of herself again. No! I scream in my head. Not this time!

She speaks slowly and apologetically, "I ... don't want you to ... on my hand."

"Shit." I exclaim. My eyes roll over to her and I growl, "Then I'm going to inside you." I yank her shirt up over her head and attack her breasts.

She's panicking, "Xavier, wait!"

"No." I say simply.

She strings a bunch of incoherent babble together that I think she means to use as sentences as she says, "But I ... I don't know ... I just wanted to ... I'm sorry ... I don't know what I was thinking! I just ... I mean ... thought I'd try ... I was curious. It felt right at the time and I wanted to ..."

"And I want to now." I interrupt. Her breathing is shaky and I don't like how I think I'm scaring her. However, I'm sick of being teased. I carry her over to the couch. Ideally, Marie's bed downstairs would be perfect, but we'd have to go outside and she's topless now so that's out.

Once I've settled her on the couch, I work on getting her skirt off. I could just leave it on and pull it up instead, but I really want her naked and beneath me. Her hands make a meek attempt at stopping me, but I succeed in removing the rest of her clothing.

"Please, Xavier, stop." she says, crying now.

Shit, I think. I lift myself up to glare down at her.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." she whispers in between little hiccups from crying.

I want to cry too all of a sudden. What is wrong with me?

I whimper again and collapse on top of her, burying my face in her neck. She's trembling. I feel like a monster. I'm still ridiculously horny, but I think I have it under control now.

"Lee ... Oh my sweet Lily, I'm sorry." I say into her neck. I push my arms underneath her to hug her to me. She won't touch me. She won't stop crying. I bury my face in her hair as I say, "Please, Lily, stop crying." I sit up now to reach up and wipe the tears away, taking great care not to look where my eyes feel drawn. She closes her eyes, blocking me out. The tears keep coming; I keep wiping them away.

"I brought this upon myself." she whispers.

It would be really bad to agree with her right now, so I keep quiet. I just keep petting her face even after the tears stop. The fact that she's naked under me keeps worming its way into my thoughts, however.

"What on earth possessed me to do that?" she asks and finally opens her beautiful eyes.

I smile in spite of everything and say, "We're teenagers. We're ruled by our hormones. I liked it." I raise my eyebrows as I think, That is, until you stopped.

She closes her eyes and hides her face with her hand.

"Lily, please uncover your face lest I be tempted to look elsewhere." I say darkly. Because if I so much as look I'm going to go crazy again.

Her hand quickly gets moved.

She's naked she's naked she's naked, keeps running through my mind.

"Where are my clothes?" she asks.

"I threw them across the room." I say guiltily.

I cover her body with mine so that at least she's covered. That's what I tell myself, that is.

"Xavier, get off of me, please." she asks with warning in her voice.

"Not until you understand something." I say. "I'm sick to death of being teased, Lee."

"I'm not trying to be a tease! I just wanted to kiss you. That's how it happens, we kiss and you always want to take it too far!"

"And then you stuck your hand down my pants." I counter and look her square in the eye.

"Well, um. I ... Sorry." she stammers.

I work very hard at not rolling my eyes as I say, "Oh gee whiz, Lily, don't be sorry! Not for that anyway. I'm only sorry that you stopped. How could you do that to me?"

"Oh no, I am a tease, aren't I?" she covers her face with both hands now. 

I groan in frustration and remove my shorts by working them down my legs while remaining on top of her.

"Xavier, what are you doing?!"

"They were in the way." I say as first one, then my other leg gets back between hers. I settle myself back down on her in a most pleasant way.

"I thought you were going to get off of me." she says and gasps as I move against her.

Oh baby, that's almost good enough, I think as I rock my hips against her, hoping to drive her as insane as I am... just like she wanted to do me.

My voice is low and even as I respond to her earlier statement, "I never promised anything, and the more I have you under me like this the more I want you." I continue rocking against her and happily watch her eyes almost cross before she closes them. "You wanted to make me as insane as you felt, well now I'm returning the favor."

"Oh, god, Xavier! I can't take it!"

"Can't take what?" I ask. I want you to tell me.

"This! You have to stop." she says and her breathing is irregular.

"No I don't." I answer and apply a little more pressure.

"I don't want to do this!" she nearly yells even though from the look on her face I can tell she's enjoying this as much as I am.

Women.

Damn it!

"Tell me why not." I request as I stop. Staying perfectly still is almost as much torture as moving, and I know it has to be torturing her as well.

"I'm afraid."

"Of me?"

"No, not you! Of ... everything else. Pain. Fear of the unknown. What you might think of me afterwards."

"How could I do anything but love you? It's because I love you that I haven't pushed harder, but holy crap do I want you."

"I can tell." she says as our eyes meet. Suddenly, we both crack up a little. "That's another thing, Tiger. You could really really hurt me."

Thanks, Dad. "I would never..."

"Willingly hurt me. I know." She squeezes her eyes shut and I know I'm still driving her wild. It's amazing how good she is at hiding it. She starts breathing faster before she says, "Xavier .... "

"Mm?" I ask.

"You have to ... be ... extremely gentle with me, okay?"

Holy shit! I freeze and stare down at her in amazement. "Are you sure? I don't want to unless you're sure. I mean, I want you to want it, not like you're just giving in." Idiot!

"That's not how you were a minute ago."

"A minute ago I was a monster."

"That I created." she finishes. "If I weren't so scared I'd be sure, but I don't suppose I'm ever going to not be scared."

Suddenly, an idea hits me. "You be on top."

"What!?"

"Mhm. That way you have the control." I explain to her wide-eyed expression.

"I don't even know if I can do that." she says.

I smile down at her and say, "Of course you can! Lily, I love you, and I want to do this with as little pain on your part as possible. That's the best way. It has to be." I remove my underwear and help her sit up. "Come here." I say and she straddles me.

With agonizing slowness and several pauses that make me want to scream, she finally finishes lowering herself onto me. Then she's completely still.

"Are you okay?" I ask while she rests her head on my shoulder. I love how this feels. I run my hands up her thighs and hips to her back and down again, marveling at how soft her skin is. She nods her head against me wordlessly. I desperately want her to move, but I know I should wait until she's ready. That wait is killing me. 

I can't help it. My once lightly-caressing hands now start pressing harder into her flesh as she stays resolutely still. I stop my hands movement on her hips and just knead the skin there with my thumbs reaching in her hip socket. Apparently, she likes this judging from her reaction. I feel like she's waking up around me as she gasps a little when she accidentally moves. I encourage her by moving her hips with my hands. She lets out a small 'oh' sound and finally starts moving against me.

I get it now. I get it why everyone wants to do this all the time. I love watching her body move on top of me. After a little while, I aid her by pushing up into her and practically throwing her up a little only to have her land, hard, back on me. With my hands on her hips, I urge her to go faster. I feel like nothing else exists but me and her, her and me as I'm transported into another world. The pleasure builds and builds exponentially as now I've become the one in charge as I quickly lift and push her against me. 

With very little warning, I thrust one final, powerful time deep inside of her. She whimpers, moves once more, and joins me as our bodies fuse together as one. Time stands still. I can hardly breathe as I feel as if my soul has left my body for a time. My eyes find hers, and if I could only move, I'd kiss her senseless.

Slowly, I return to Earth and become aware of my surroundings, and I'm very happy with them. Lee is passed out on my chest, her body still wrapped around me. I reach up to run my fingers through her hair mindlessly. In the back of my mind, I wonder what my mom or dad would do if they happened to walk in right now. They never do, but that would be typical of fate to do something like that to me.

"I'm sorry I was so scared." Lily says quietly to me.

I smile. "I'm sorry I was so demanding." I tilt my head down as best as I'm able and ask, "How do you feel?"

"Right now I'm fine, but I've read that I could be sore tomorrow." She sits up to grin at me and say, "Especially with my Tiger."

I feel a little sleepy as I respond, "I am your Tiger. I always will be."

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It bugs me how the game wouldn't let me keep the cute ponytail for Lee's nude state.

Click here to go to Chapter 116
After this, I start putting in the old chapters from the beginning, so I thought I'd put in links at the ends of the ones that jump in order to avoid having to hit the 'next chapter' button a billion times to finally get to 116.

114: What to Expect

very mild adult situation

This afternoon, I had a talk with Marie. She actually asked me for advice on what she should do about Armand and Dawson, plus Andy. She told me how terrible she felt about telling Armand about her decision to date Dawson exclusively. Then she asked me what I would've done in her place. I was amazed she asked, so I answered her truthfully. I said I'd probably string them along and not make a decision but let fate decide. I got the feeling she asked me the question so that she would know what not to do.

She asked me if I could help her with figuring out if she picked the right guy. I sounded a lot like Hugh as I answered her saying that only she could answer that question.

I'm worried about her.

I stand in my bedroom looking out at the river when John walks up behind me.

"Hey, Baby." he says and puts his arms around me while kissing the back of my neck.

I take a deep breath and respond, "Hey yourself." His breath on the back of my neck gives me goosebumps.

He widens his hands and lowers them to the hem of my dress as he says, "You're wearing this dress. You know what this dress does to me." He moves one of the straps off of my shoulder and starts planting kisses there.

"John, I'm not in the mood." I say, but it's a small lie. I can't help but get into the mood every time he starts doing this.

"What can I do to change that?" he asks as he moves my hair aside so he can continue to kiss the back of my neck.

Geez, I really love this man, I think as I'm taken back to the happiness of our first marriage. He would act like this all the time. That is, when his job would let him. I'm so glad he retired.

"I'm just worried about the kids. Did you talk to Ben?" I ask and turn slightly to see his expression.

"I did. And speaking of kids..."

He doesn't finish his sentence, but he turns me the rest of the way around. I exhale in annoyance, but then he pounces and presses me back against the wall. My dress strap slides back up into place as my arms move up to around his neck, but I'm just not as into it as he is. He groans with aggravation and reaches his his hand up under my dress before sliding down to grasp the back of my thigh as he pulls my leg up.

I now have to hold on to him tighter to keep my balance. I debate whether or not I should try to wiggle out of this, but then his hips press harder into mine to further pin me to the wall. The large bulge in his pants tells me how serious he is about wanting me. He positions himself just right and as he moves against me I start whimpering and pulling at his hair. I guess I'm not hurting him because he's not complaining.

Still, even though my body is screaming for it, I'm just feeling too melancholy for this.

"John." I say in a tone that says I'm just trying to get his attention as he starts down my neck.

"Mm? Please don't tell me you're still not in the mood, because that would by lying." he warns.

"But I'm just ... sad.. and worried about the kids, and worried about being a bad mother, and worried how I'd screw up another one if we have another one."

"Sounds like too many worries." he says lamely. Then he sighs and looks me in the eye as he says, "Elena, the fact that you're worrying shows that you're a good mother. Cut yourself some slack! A bad mother wouldn't care." He kisses me once again before he says, "And I want to make that baby right now."

Oh, I give up, I think as he works on removing our clothing. I see his green eyes watching me, wondering if I'm going to say I'm not in the mood again.

I run my hands through his hair and say, "I miss the brown."

He mumbles, "Mm? Oh. Then I'll dye it back." He pauses for a moment to pick me up and put me gently on the bed. "Later though."

 "Elena..." he starts to say yet still continuing to kiss me, "I meant it. ... Let's start trying and just see what happens. ... The baby I mean."

"You mean leave it to fate." I state as a sort of question.

"Yes." he says, and it sounds both like an answer to my question and a slight rejoicing because it sounds like I'm warming to the idea.

"And what if fate says no?" I ask, somewhat bemused.

He lifts his head up now to look down at me as he says, "Then I will be very sad." I can't tell if he's serious or just messing around.

"Well, we can just give fate a good swift kick in the ass to get it moving." I say and actually giggle.

Then he gets this look in his eyes that I know all too well.

We don't speak much after that.

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Six weeks go by, and we all settle into a routine. The bar finally sells, and I no longer have that worry. My hallucinations seem to have stopped.

Marie continues to date Dawson, though at times I think I catch her looking sad, and I don't know exactly why. She knows she can talk to me if she needs to. It doesn't help things that Andy has called the house a few times, thinking Marie's cell phone must be broken.

Ben visits with Jonah frequently, and the two appear to bond. Many nights he rides home at just before bedtime. I don't begrudge Jonah the time.

Speaking of Jonah, he and John slowly begin speaking to one another. In fact, Jonah invited John over to watch the game with him and Ben this Friday. Also, Kaiti moved in with him a couple of weeks ago. She's escaping over here on Friday to avoid all the testosterone that will be flying around.

As for Xavier, he and Lee (Tiger Lily, hehe) still spend most of their time together. I've noticed she's finally learning to fix her hair. Xavier is starting to feel more confident with his painting, or at least that's what Lee tells me. She knows my son better than I do right now. I guess that's okay.

John and I... well, yeah. We've been trying. I can't help but start to think it isn't meant to be for me to have another child. Still, our marriage has been fantastic lately. 

I feel like I have the old John back... the one I first fell in love with. He even almost looks the same now that he's dyed his hair brown again and the gray hasn't grown back in.

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I'm either coming down with a stomach bug or.... 

 .... I don't remember eating that. Oh well.

No way. I couldn't be pregnant! Am I?

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I am so terribly sorry this is so short. I had point A... then I knew where point C would be. Point B has been driving me nuts! So, this chapter suffered because of it. If this is the first thing you have read of mine, please don't judge me on it. I'm disappointed in myself, but I had to get through this section of time.

The good news is that this story is up and running again! More probably next week!