121: Lily

Xavier

    We're having a little party with my family and Lee's family. Her twin sister Lea (pronounced Le-ah)(I have no idea why her mother named the two of them Lee and Lea) really gets on my nerves. I worry about what on earth she could be filling Ben's head with. Maybe they're just talking about Demarco, my old step-brother and his half-brother, since she's dating him. It's fitting that she is. They're both as evil as can be.

      I have bigger worries than what Lea could be up to, however. I'm scared to death of telling our parents. Still, I want Lee's pregnancy out in the open. She's not gone to see a doctor yet, and that scares me more than telling our parents. It's my hope that maybe she'll listen to her mother who will definitely demand that she do so.

     I take Lee over to sit in a chair because she looks pale.

    "I don't want to do this today, Xavier." she says quietly.

     I lean down and talk in her ear, "Everyone is together. There's never going to be a perfect time to do this."

      She turns to look at me worriedly.

    I can feel my dad, who's wearing a ridiculous shirt just to make Mom happy, staring at us. He never misses a thing. It's the agent in him; I guess the training never goes away. My mom acts clueless like always, only focused on herself and her pregnancy. She's showing much sooner than Lee, I guess because this is her third.

    "Everything okay, you two?" Dad asks.

    "Yes, everything's fine." Lee quickly answers before I can say anything.

     "Lily..." I whisper.

     "I can't." she nearly cries.

     "I will then." I say and step around her to sit on the arm of the chair next to her.

     She grabs hold of my arm and looks at me imploringly as she whispers, "No! Please! Some other time. I don't want to ruin everything. Can't it wait?"

      Dad continues to stare at us. Sometimes I wonder if he can read a person's thoughts. No, not really.. he's just good at reading facial expressions.

      I've never been a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of guy, and I sat up last night figuring out what exactly I would say to our parents if it came to me being the one to do it. I want it out of the way. I want Lee to see a doctor. She hasn't been to see anyone since that first visit to the clinic to confirm the pregnancy. I doubt she even has an OB/GYN. 

      I did some research online because I had to find out everything I could, and I read everywhere that she needs regular visits to a real pregnancy doctor, not some single visit to a nurse at a clinic. When I bring this up to her, she shoots me down, saying that the doctor would be forced to tell her mother since we're underage. Then she feeds me this load of bull about how 'women have been doing this since the dawn of time' which I can't help but think Yeah, and they would often die! If anything happened to her.... Well, I don't want to think about that.
      Mom finally gets a clue. "Something's wrong. What is it?"
      I flip my hair out of my eyes and look over at my parents. Lee's mom has sat down to apparently try and get Lea to play a game of chess. I see out of the corner of my eye that she too turns to us. Ben gets up to go and probably try to figure out what his presents are again.
      I make eye contact with Lee, and she quickly looks down, already looking like she wants to cry. I hate that. This is all my fault. I'll take the heat and tell them. A surreal feeling crosses over me as I get ready to say my prepared speech.
      "Alright. Lee and I have something to tell everyone." I start out. I hear her mom take in a breath. She probably just guessed. I wonder how she told her parents when she got pregnant with Lee and her sister at sixteen. Lee's leg starts shaking while I continue, "We never meant for this to happen."
       "No." Leila, Lee's mom, says. Then she looks surprised she spoke aloud.
     "Never meant for what to happen, Xavier?" my dad questions, a mild growl in his voice.
       Crap! Well, there goes my carefully planned speech. Maybe I can salvage some of it. "I would also like to say that I take responsibility for what has happened, and I intend to do the best I can with the consequences." Ugh, my first child is a 'consequences'.
       Lea's eyes become little slits as she blurts out, "You're pregnant, aren't you, Lee?"
       I hate that girl.
       All eyes turn to my precious Lily, and a single tear escapes her eye as she quietly nods her head yes.

     Her mom stands up and starts crying. My mom starts crying. Lee keeps crying. The only woman in this house who isn't crying is Lea, and I have never wanted to hit a girl so much in my life. She ruined my carefully prepared speech! It wasn't supposed to happen like this!

     Dad starts up. "I never in my life... Never! expected this out of you!" he yells to me. His posture belies the rage that I'm sure boils below the surface.

     Fine, Dad! Bring it! 

     "And you think I did?!" I yell back.

     Poor Ben, in the middle of everything, just stands there with his eyes wide.

     "How could you be so irresponsible?!" Dad yells again.

     "This was an accident!" I exclaim as Lily sniffs behind me.

     "Obviously!" Dad yells some more. "I would hope that you didn't do this on purpose!"

     Her mother says to me with venom in her voice, "You monster. How could you do this to my daughter?" Her words hurt me more than Dad's, and I don't know what to say.

      Lee finally speaks up, "Mom, he's not totally to blame."

     "Oh, and don't I know it!" Leila snaps. "After everything I went through... we went through! Did you learn nothing?" Her voice takes on a determined tone now as she says, "Go home. Go home and stay there. I don't want you around this boy again ever! Do you understand me?!" Then, she turns to Dad and says, "I had thought that my daughter dating the retired police chief's son would not be putting her at risk for this sort of thing. Clearly, I was wrong. I thought you were better than your brothers, John, but again, I was wrong on that count as well. I should have factored in the way your mother raised, if you could call it that, the three of you."

      Dad glares at the woman as he says in a dangerous tone, "Yes, because you knew all about it, being there all the time like you were, chasing Eric." He flips his hair out of his face like he expects it to be longer than it is. "Let's not discuss parenting strategies, because I could decide to bring up the fact that your daughter has decided to follow in her mother's footsteps!"

     Leila gasps and says, "Girls, we're leaving."

     I speak up. "Nobody's going anywhere."

     Dad points his finger at me and says, "Oh yes they are! You can head straight up to your room!"

     "Make me! I'm not six years old anymore, Dad!"

     "John, stop it!" Mom cries from over at the window.

     Dad's whole demeanor changes when he sees how my mom is breaking down, and he appears to ignore the rest of the room as he walks over to her.

    Lee's mom grabs her by the arm and starts urging her to leave. I turn around, shocked that Lee is letting her.

      "No." I snap at Leila and push her off of Lily.
      "Mom, give me a minute." Lee says quietly.
      "Fine. Go ahead and explain to him that you can never see him again." her mom says, letting out this disgusted noise and rolling her eyes. What?!
       Ben still stands woodenly over next to the tree, obviously not knowing what to do.

    Lee refuses to look at me as my heart beats painfully in my chest. No, surely she's not going to do what her mother says, is she? "Lily?" I ask, hating the desperate tone of my voice. I now understand how Dad can ignore everyone else in the room as I try to get the woman I love's attention. "Lily, please look at me and tell me that you're not walking out of here to never see me again. That's outrageous! We're in this together, remember?" This isn't happening. I grasp her chin and turn her face towards me. The pain in her eyes rips my heart right out of me.

     "I should probably go." she says quietly.

     I swallow and ask, "But I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

     "I don't think so, Xavier." she answers, crushing me into a billion pieces.

     I start shaking just a little as I ask her to clarify, "Later this week then?" A tear escapes her eye, and I quickly reach up to wipe it away. I'm dying here.

      "I don't know." she answers. I'm about three seconds from dragging her away from the front door and holding her hostage away from her mother, but the look in her eyes stops me. I get the feeling that she's desperately trying to convey to me that she has to do this, this leaving right now, and follow her mother's directions. I tell myself that this won't last forever, and we'll either be able to talk some sense into that woman or have Lee escape her. "I don't know what else I can do." she whispers almost inaudibly.

     "Don't worry." I mumble as quietly as I can. "I'll think of something." Then I press my lips hard on her forehead to her mother griping again about wanting to leave.

    Lee, her sister, and her mother walk out of the house. Lily looks sad, her mother angry, but her sister really pisses me off. She actually looks happy that Lee is in trouble. She smiles in sadistic mirth to my glare before she closes the door behind them.

     I walk around the chair in front of me and flop down into it. I knew that wasn't going to go well, but I didn't expect Leila to tell Lily to never see me again. My world is crumbling around me, and I don't know what to do about it.
      "I'll be okay, John. Just let me sit here a minute." I hear Mom almost whisper to him.
      "I don't get to open my presents, I guess, do I?" Ben asks quietly. Mom and Dad had decided we could open a few presents early because of the small party.
      No one answers him, so I do. "I guess not tonight, buddy. Sorry I ruined it."
      Dad turns to him to say, "You can open them in the morning, I promise. Why don't you go to bed or... just go play in your room for a little while until you're sleepy." Dad gives Ben a pained expression as if to say he's sorry he's shoving him to the side like this yet again. Even with everything else going on in my head, I again wonder if Dad secretly hates him and tries not to.
      I hear the door to Ben's room close and my dad sigh in a defeated manner before he walks over to where I sit.
     "What the hell was she talking about, Dad?" I ask with my head in my hands, meaning Leila.
      He takes a deep breath and says, "I'd hoped never to have to tell you."
    "So... what? Was your mom some kind of inattentive parent that let you, Uncle Eric, and Uncle Jonah run around and do whatever you want? That's what it sounded like she implied."
    "That's exactly what she implied." Dad says quietly. "And she has a point. Still, that was a low blow for her to associate you with that. I'm not exactly proud of what I said to her in return either." he finishes.
      "I'm sorry, Dad." I say quietly with my head still in my hands. I stare at the rug under my feet as he places his hand on my shoulder in a gesture of support I guess.
     "I'm not proud of you for this, but we'll help you as much as we can." he says quietly, and I can't help but think that I have so much to learn about being a parent.
      I mumble a quiet thank you and tell him I'm going to bed. I've been sleeping in Marie's old room and using my room upstairs as just my studio. I wonder if they'll let me stay in this detached part of the house, or will they force me to take one of the smaller rooms in the main part.
    I walk into the room and think how right now I'd love nothing more than to go to that house, snatch Lee away, and bring her here to stay.

     I pretend I'm a corpse as I lie here on my bed. I deserved everything Lee's mother threw at me, but I can't believe the horrible things that she said to verbally attack my father the way she did! Just how bad was my grandmother? It's not Dad's fault and certainly not mine! Stuff like this happens!

     And what is she thinking in thinking that she can keep me and Lily from seeing each other? Even I know that doesn't work.

     How long is she going to try to keep this up? I already feel like I'm dying inside with the thought of not seeing Lily for an extended period of time. Then I get an idea, and pull my binder out of my bookbag in hopes to write her mom a letter of apology. I've got to try.

Dear Ms Rose,

     

         I groan, yank the piece of paper out of the binder, and ball it up before throwing it on the floor. I don't need to start it out with 'dear'. So, I try another approach... then another... then another.

     I yawn as I contemplate yet again how on earth I'm going to write this letter to Leila, my botched attempts littering the area around me. How do I try and apologize for this? What can I say to convince her to stop trying to keep me from Lily?

     I slap my pen down on the paper and wearily put my forehead on my wrist, trying to get my brain to function and make me come up with the right thing to say.

     I wake up to my alarm going off and my wrist hurting. I fell asleep!

   Today is the last day of school before the winter break. Lily doesn't show up. I can't say I'm surprised, but I'd still harbored a hope anyway. At least the kids at school don't act like they know, meaning Lea has kept her mouth shut. 

    I change my mind about my suspicion when I get a leering grin from Demarco before walking into History. I suppose it's only a matter of time before everyone knows now. Kiss my ass, Demarco, I think as I slam my books down on my desk, startling those around me.

    By the time I'm walking home at the end of the day (I hate riding the bus), people stop and stare at me, girls whisper to each other with their hands covering their mouths like I won't see them talking, and then the chatter starts up after I leave the area. The only thing good about all this is that Lily doesn't have to endure it. Maybe by the time winter break is over, it will be old news.

      For days, I try to get Lee on the phone, but her mom stops even answering the phone when I call. I even try from Uncle Eric's house, but she still doesn't answer. So, I try going by the house to force them to acknowledge me. She calls out Hugh (well, Chief Carson) to come and escort me off of the property.

      I keep texting Lily, but I don't feel surprised when I never get a response. I do the same with email. I just have to keep trying to hopefully somehow get through to her and convince her to leave her mom's and move in here. I'd run this idea by my parents, and they acted okay with it... even if Mom hardly speaks to me right now. I'll worry about Mom later.

      I spend most of my time in my studio, thinking. I try painting to pass the time. I get everything set up, look at the canvas, and absolutely nothing comes to me. I've never had that happen. Some ideas I've had have been better than others, sure, but I've never had nothing.

     So, I practice that mandolin I have and break two strings, one of which I have no replacement. I sit and dumbly stare at the broken string and can't help but feel a kinship with it.

       It's Christmas Eve, and I really don't feel like celebrating anything. I wonder how long this is going to last.

       Disrupting my depressing quiet, I hear a knock on my door. I can't think of the last time someone has knocked on this door. Delivery persons don't usually confuse it with being the front door due to its second floor position, and my family members and Lily never knock. I go to open it, and I see it's Lea.

      "What do you want?" I snap.

      She snorts and says, "You'd think you'd be happy to get at least some message from my sister, but if you really don't want to hear it then I can just -"

       "No!" I stop her quickly from walking away. She turns back around with that sinister grin of hers and faces me. I invite her inside.

      "So, perfect little Lee screws up. Finally, I'm not the bad daughter anymore!" she says, deciding obviously to start out by gloating.

      How she can be Lily's twin beats me. She's literally the evil twin.

    "What's the message, Lea? Please tell me or get out." I say in as little a snappish manner as I can handle. The 'please' had to be forced out.

      She flops herself down on the chair at the drafting table, and I sit myself down on the sofa. I guess I'm going to have to put up with a little of her crap before she'll finally give me whatever tidbit of information she was sent to deliver.

    "I don't know. Maybe you really don't want to hear it. You're not going to like it." she says cryptically, and my heart plummets to my stomach. 

       So, this is it then. She's breaking up with me via her sister.

      "Well since you came all this way..." I quip sardonically. She's right, maybe I don't want to hear it.

      "Oh please." she scoffs and rolls her eyes. "She's not breaking up with you, even if Mom almost hourly tells her to." My breathing gets shallow as this horrible girl continues, "She wants me to tell you that Mom wants to send her to a boarding school until she has the baby, and then we're moving out of this town."

      "What?!" I let out as a whine. "How can that be considered not breaking up with me?!" Right now, I don't even care that I'm showing this devil-woman my pain.

       Lea sighs exasperatedly like she thinks I'm thick. "Because she doesn't want to do it. I've never known a person that can argue as quietly and calmly as she can." That's because she's an angel. "Mom tells her she doesn't have a choice, and Lee threatens to move out and/or run away." Lea calmly puts her hands in her lap. "So, that's the stalemate at my house right now. I owed her a favor, and she wanted me to tell you this. I think Mom knows that Lee is perfectly capable of carrying through on her threat. Lee didn't want me to tell you this, but she did a little digging and found an obscure law in this crazy town that allows pregnant teens to move in with the fathers or vice versa if one set of parents creates a hostile environment."
     You're brilliant, Lily!
     "Then tell her to move out! Mom and Dad already told me they're okay with something like that!" I say and bolt up off of the sofa as she looks at me with an alarmed expression.
   "The problem is proving whether or not her home environment is hostile. That's what she's working on right now." Lea says like she's bored. Then she gets up to walk towards the door.

     "Hostile?!" I snap as I stomp over to her. "The woman is keeping her there as a prisoner in her own house!"
      "And Mom says it's for her own good. Frankly, I have to agree." I seriously want to hit her. "However..." she puts her finger on her mouth in a pondering gesture, "I don't want to move and leave Demarco... maybe..."
     Suddenly, her phone rings. While she talks to the person on the other end of the line, her face blanches and her eyes widen in horror.
       "I'll be there soon." she says and hangs up. Then, she looks at me and says with a trace amount of fear in her voice, "Lee is in the hospital. There's a problem."

      I don't ponder the change in Lea's attitude. I don't ask any questions. I don't want to hear whatever it is that's happened from that bitch's lips. I just push her out of my way and race down the stairs, across the street, through the central square, and down the short street to the hospital with my heart pounding in my ears. That woman has to let me see her! No! Not my darling Lily! What's going on?! Please, please not Lily!




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Just to clarify: John's brother Eric is not the father of the twins. Xavier is not dating his cousin. :)

Also, sorry about the near-constant switching of Lee/Lily and having it be the same person. I use the name that suits the situation better. SP named Lee and Lea, and with their mother as Leila, I figured calling Lee Lily every so often just added into the mix!