110: You're Driving Me Crazy!

Every kid wonders if their parents are nuts, don't they? I mean, that's normal, right?

I'm standing in the kitchen and I hear my dad yelling upstairs. He just got home and he's already yelling about something? For a minute, I ignore it. I didn't come in here to get caught up in my crazy parents' fight. I just felt the food processor needed a good, thorough cleaning. Again. 

Why is Dad yelling at Mom? Doesn't he care she's had a bad day? I think as I see Dad coming down the stairs.

He asks me about where Uncle Jonah moved to, so I tell him. I didn't see any harm in it at the time, but then when he starts running for the door and I see Mom coming down the stairs frantically, I know something's up.

I see my kid brother, Ben, look from Dad to me and Dad to me. Nobody ever seems to pay any attention to Ben. I kinda feel bad about that. I'm so busy with my art, and Marie busy with whatever it is she's doing. I guess I've never noticed how the kid seems down.

I'm distracted in my thoughts as my mother runs across the floor after Dad.

"What is going on?" I yell.

She tells me not to worry about it and to watch Ben. Of course I'd watch Ben! There they go again just shoving him to the side like annoying luggage. What I want to know is why they're running out of the house. Obviously, it has something to do with what Dad must've been yelling about. Nobody ever tells me anything!

What a horrible day I'm having! First, my mom has some kind of breakdown, then my girlfriend gets upset that I wanted to make out and now this?

After they leave, the questions begin.

"Does Daddy hate Mommy?" Ben asks me.

"No, he doesn't. He just gets upset easily."

"He's not my real Daddy, did you know that?" he says suddenly.

I look over at the kid and wonder where that statement came from. "Yeah, I knew that. I remember your dad. He's the one that taught me to drink the milk in my cereal bowl when I finished eating it."

That brings about a whole slew of questions about Greg that I'm not prepared for. Doesn't Mom talk with him about his dad? He acts particularly thrilled that Greg played for the Llamas.

After I put him to bed, I wait up for my parents to come home. Boy, this is messed up. Teen waits for his folks to get home. Maybe I should ground them. I am so pissed.

They walk in and oh guess what? they're still fighting. They don't even see me at first. I will not be ignored!

"What is going on?!" I ask and watch both their heads turn in my direction.

Dad looks even more pissed than I am as he says, "Xavier, it's the middle of the night. Go to bed!"

Not after the day I've had! I'm owed an explanation!

Mom sees the look on my face so she very calmly says to me, "Xavier, it's okay. Go to bed or you'll be tired at school tomorrow." She uses the same tone of voice she does to handle Dad's moods.

"I want to know what's going on!" I yell. Dad's expression gets more angry. "I think I'm owed an explanation after the way you two ran out of here and left me with Ben. Do you have any idea how many questions he asked that I had to make up some lame answer to?!"

Dad sighs with aggravation and says, "I'll talk to Ben in the morning. Go. To. Bed!"

"Fine!" I yell back at them. I'm sure to keep mumbling complaints just loud enough for them to hear. "Crazy parents! Disrupting everything with their stupid fights! Leave me to be the parent to my kid brother!" I slam the outside door before I head up to my room, my haven. I collapse on my couch and sleep there instead of my bed.

(These next shots, well from here to the end, apparently I was in a blue mood today.)

The next morning, my mood isn't much improved. So, I head upstairs and decide to handle it the way Dad does: simfu. I suck at it, but it still feels nice to kick and hit the thing. That is, until it hits me back. Not much later I head off to school.

Lee makes the mistake of calling me "Tiger" within earshot of some other classmates.Great. Perfect. This is just what I need. "Tiger" gets quickly transformed into "Tiger Lily". We've been given a couple's nickname. Lee thinks it's cute. I disagree. So, then she gets all bent out of shape that I'm embarrassed, and she's mad at herself for doing it to me. Oh, when will the drama end? She doesn't ride home with me today.

I'm standing in the kitchen, wondering what to take my frustrations out on, when Mom walks over to me. "Hey, Xavier. What's up?" she tries to sound cool.

I suddenly want some ice cream. "I'm hungry." I almost snap back at her.

There it is. I knew we had some somewhere. I hear my mom sigh. I'm sorry, Mom. I just don't want to deal with your crap today.

"Sorry we did that to you yesterday." she says quietly in her 'I'm pitiful life is so hard for me' voice.

I grunt a non-committal response, close the fridge, and head over to the table.

Apparently not happy with my response, she walks into the kitchen proper and snaps back at me, "Hey! I'm talking to you!"

"So you are." I say flippantly and continue to the table.

As I walk to the table I admire that great picture of town I took one day while hiking that my parents love. Maybe someday I'll paint something good enough to put in the house somewhere besides my room.

"Don't you walk away and ignore me, young man!" Mom scolds.

"I'm not ignoring you. I'm sitting at the table eating ice cream." Geez, what's your problem?

She walks over and sits down across from me. I do my best to ignore her staring at me. It doesn't work.

"What, Mom?" I ask while stabbing at the ice cream with my spoon.

"Aren't you going to accept my apology?" she asks.

I take a bite of ice cream and deliberately talk with my mouth full just to get on her nerves. "Well, you see, Mom, it's like this. I'm sick to death of you and Dad fighting. Every time I turn around you're at it again."

"We're not fighting now." she says what I guess she thinks is helpfully.

I grunt again and shove another spoonful in my mouth.

"Xavier, don't eat like that. You're going to give yourself a headache." she quietly scolds me.

I shrug.

I decide to let her have it. "Mom, the worst was reassuring Ben that you two don't hate each other. Then he wanted me to answer a million questions about Greg. Why haven't you talked to him?" I look up to see a painful flicker cross my mother's eyes.

"Because it still hurts." she almost whispers.

I snort. "Too bad! That doesn't mean you shouldn't talk to him about him! You knew him better than anybody! Swallow your own pain before you hurt Ben with it!" My voice rises and rises the more I speak. 

"Ugh! I've had enough of this stuff now." I throw my disposable spoon in the nearly-empty container and walk over to the trash compactor. Mom just sits there frozen.

I turn around to find Mom was standing behind me.

"When did you get to be so smart?" she asks me.

I snort again. "I'm not. I guess it's easier for me to see what you don't."

She nods. "We're selling the bar. Dad's just gone off to retire. We're going to stay at home now. I'm sorry I've been a bad mother to you, Xavier."

Oh good grief! Not another Mom pity-party!

"Would you stop it with the pity parties?! You're driving me crazy! You're not a bad mother! You've just made a few bad choices!"

Why am I always called upon to make people feel better?

"Look, Mom. You always did what you thought was best. All that stuff is over now, though. You want to be a better mother? Help Ben. I'm going to go paint now."

She looks at me sadly.

"Mom!" I fuss at her and pull her into a hug. "You're weren't a bad mother and you're not one now. Just please stop feeling sorry for yourself."

She nods and kisses the top of my head before I escape to my room.

I'm shocked to find Lee sitting at the drafting table when I walk in. Of course, her open invitation always stands. I just didn't expect her to come by today since she's mad at me. She doesn't look up when I walk in. I stand there quietly, not knowing what to say.

"Hello, Xavier." she says with a resigned sigh.

"Hi." I say stupidly. 

She continues working on whatever it is she's working on. Normally I'd just let her do her thing and head over to the easel, but I can't stop watching her hands as they move across the paper.

Is it really so bad that we have a nickname? I mean, not everybody gets that. It's actually kinda cool. I'm not too thrilled that people started calling me 'Tiger', but putting it with her it isn't that bad.

"Lee, talk to me."

"I did talk to you. In fact, I talked to you first after you were quiet when you walked in here."

"Are you mad at me?" I ask the question she'd asked me but a day ago.

She looks over at me, gets up, and walks around the chair to me. Suddenly, my heart starts racing. I'm scared. She's not going to break up with me is she?

"No. I'm not mad at you." she says and I breathe an invisible sigh of relief. "You're mad at me, aren't you?"

"Um..."

"No. I guess I'm not." I answer. "I"m not really thrilled that people are calling me tiger, though."

She winces. "Sorry. I didn't think about what others would think when I said it. Kids are so mean."

"Yeah." I say lamely. I like the way she walks. It's distracting.

"Besides, and listen this is important." she says.

"What is?" I ask and watch her mouth move when she speaks again.

"Nobody calls you 'Tiger' but me, okay?" she whispers and looks deadly serious.

I can't even begin to describe what her saying that does to me. The only thing I can think of is 'nnnyyyyaaaah!'

I haven't a clue what expression is on my face. I just see her smile a small smile in response to it.

"Okay?" she reiterates.

"Yeah, mhm." I say real fast.

She grins suddenly. "You like that, don't you?"

"Hell yes." I say as I almost roughly pull her to me. Instantly my mood is lifted, especially when I see she has 'kiss me' written all over her face.

Definitely a much better mood. I think I love her. I sure did hate the feeling when I worried she was about to break up with me. Crap! What if she had? ... No. I won't even go there. Besides, that's a stupid reason to break up. Since her shirt fits so loosely on her, it wrinkles up more the tighter I hold her. She acts like she needs this even more than I do. She thought I was mad at her. I guess it looked like it. I was more mad at the other students though.

(crazy lighting thing arg!)

I maintain my tight hold of her against me as she leans back to say, "You're really not mad at me?"

"No. Not mad." I say as I run my hand up and down her back. I'm really starting to not like this shirt - too much fabric.

Marie told me that one day I'd be happy my room doesn't connect to the main house. I now finally understand.

Lee makes a cute little protest noise when I kiss her again. I start to wonder once more if I'm ever going to get to a point when I feel like I've gotten enough. She sounds like she's having trouble getting enough air. I don't suppose it helps her breathing that she's shaking, because she is.

I decide to cool it for just a minute and reach up a hand to stroke her cheek while only lightly touching my lips to hers several times. She watches me with an almost wary look that I find simply adorable.

"How did I get so lucky?" she asks out of the blue.

"Do what?!" I ask back. "Where did that come from?"

She blushes slightly before she says, "I used to fantasize about moments like this."

"Really?!" I ask with my voice a little higher than I wanted it to be. I clear my throat and say, "Fantasize, huh?"

She nods shyly. I decide I'm tired of standing up.

I'm surprised at how light she is as I almost carry her over to my couch.

"Xavier! What? What are you doing?" she asks breathlessly.

"Oh, I just had a fantasy that we weren't standing up anymore that's all." I gently deposit her on the couch and quickly join her.

"My god, Lee, you're so beautiful." I tell her. She closes her eyes and slams her head back on the couch cushion.

I run my hand up her arm and think about all I could do if this damn shirt were off. I'm momentarily distracted by her heavy breathing. In the back of my mind I worry I'm scaring her again. So, I decide against the whole 'removing her shirt' thing and decide to simply kiss and run my mouth along what skin I can. When I get to her throat, I can feel her pulse racing against my lips. For some reason, this makes me grin. I turn my head ever so little to play with her earring with my tongue.

"Ah! Shit, Xavier!" she exclaims.

I laugh a little before I ask, "What?" as if I don't know.

She throws her head back against the cushion again and says, "What has come over you lately?"

I shrug. "I thought that was obvious." My eyes lock with hers as she looks down and I look up and she shakes her head no like it's not obvious to her.

"I love you." I say before I kiss her breathless again.