103 Set Free (Xavier)

Before she left that night, I asked Lee to officially be my girlfriend. Not to sound sure of myself, but of course she said yes. I don't think I would've asked if I thought there was any chance in the world she'd say no.

My first girlfriend... my best friend. This could really blow up in my face if anything goes wrong. We're taking a huge risk doing this. Still, that's not going to stop me.

I asked Mom about the painter, Marcelo Castillo, and he was her birth father. I can't begin to describe how cool that is.

A few days later, while I'm in the kitchen making myself some breakfast, I hear a thudding noise above me like someone has fallen on the floor. I run upstairs to find it's my mother.

"Um, Mom?" I ask. She's sitting on the floor with a blank look on her face. I can't get her to look at me. "Are you okay?" She doesn't answer.

I sit down next to her and take her hand, trying to get her to snap out of her blank stare. "Mom?"

"I missed the chair." she finally speaks in a quiet voice.

"I see that. Would you like me to help you up?"

She takes in and lets out a huge breath. "No. I'll just sit on the floor. Doesn't matter anyway."

Uh oh. Dad told me to watch for this kind of thing, and if I thought it was necessary to call Hugh. I pull out my phone.

"Hey, yeah, Hugh?.... Um, this is Xavier. Could you come over like, right now?.... Mhm. .... Okay. See you in a bit."

I'm no expert, but to me it looks like Mom is cracking up. I don't know if I'm the right one to be with her right now. I have no idea what to do.

Duchess senses something is wrong, and tries to climb into Mom's lap. Mom curls up into a ball and turns away from her. Oh no. She's crying. What now?

"Uh, Mom? Do you want me to go get Uncle Jonah?" I ask, feeling uncomfortable watching her cry.

"NO!" she nearly screams into her lap.

O...kay?

"Alright, alright. I won't. And Hugh's on his way." I say quietly while standing above her, feeling helpless.

"It doesn't matter! All I need to do is sit here and cry. I'll be fine. Go eat breakfast." Mom says in almost rapid succession. 

It's not much longer until Hugh finally shows up. I belligerently stay with Mom even though she tells me more than once to go eat. Duchess stays nearby too, and she falls asleep on the floor near Mom.

When Mom sees Hugh's here she gets defensive. "I'm fine, Hugh. Just having a little meltdown. Nothing new. You don't have to be here."

I watch as Hugh shrugs. "Well, I'm here now anyway, so I may as well hang out." he says before motioning to me that I don't have to stay if I don't want to. 

Turns out I can't anyway. The bus has shown up.

All day long at school, I worry about Mom. When I get home, I find her sleeping on the couch so I have no idea how she's really doing. I want to call Dad so bad, but we were told not to unless it was a real emergency.


When Lee walks into my room, she finds me sitting on my couch, staring off into space.

"Are you mad at me?" she suddenly asks before she sits down next to me.


"No. Why would I be mad at you?" I say in a distracted manner.

"I don't know. You tell me." she says cryptically. 

Oh no. Please oh please don't be in a mood. "Why do you think I'm mad at you?" I ask, deciding to get directly to the point. The good thing about her 'mood' is that it distracts me from worrying about Mom for a minute. I'd rather deal with how Lee feels right now than try to unravel the web of mystery that is my mother.

"Because you've been ignoring me all day." she says, the hurt evident in her voice.

She almost glares at me as I chuckle with ill-concealed relief. "I'm not mad at you; I'm worried about Mom." I go to explain to her the episode this morning.

"Oh." is all she says.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it seem like I was ignoring you." I work at reassuring her. She's gotten alot more needy since we've become a couple. I hope that's normal. At least she looks appeased by my apology.

"Okay." she says quietly. Now she looks embarrassed.

I laugh again and reach for her. "C'mere, you." 

"I'm sorry. That was selfish of me. You're just worried about your mom." she says as I reach over and pull her to me.

I have an overwhelming urge to kiss her suddenly. I don't know why. Maybe the sweet look in her eyes as she apologizes for something she didn't do? All of this stuff is new to me.

 She sighs and lays her head on my shoulder. "I'm so relieved. I've got to stop thinking everything is about me. I'm sure your mom will be fine."

Great. Now I'm worried about Mom again. I sit there with my hand on my forehead and try, yet again, to figure my mother out. I know she still hasn't gotten over what happened to her, but she'd been doing fine these past few weeks. I'd hoped she'd been getting better. 

It's all my fault. If I hadn't have been so stupid and gotten myself kidnapped then she wouldn't have been forced out of the house and gotten herself abducted trying to save me. Me, her pathetic, defenseless son.

"You're stressing again, aren't you?" she asks out of the blue when she sits up a little.

"Maybe." I answer by not really answering.

"Quit it." she demands and I grunt non-noncommittally."Xavier..." she warns.

"I said quit it!" she fusses as she reaches over, pulls my hand off my head and pushes my knee down. Then she reaches over and gets my hand. I quietly put my arm back over her shoulder. She sighs happily and we get quiet again.

I don't think there's a person anywhere that gets me more than Lee does. She knew without turning around that I was sitting here stressing, again, about what happened. She's so adorable when she gets bossy. And now, look at her. Sitting there all content that she got me to stop obsessing about something again. I wonder what she'd do if I...

 "What are you thinking about?" she asks suddenly, interrupting my thoughts.

"Um..." Crap! I quickly look around and spy the sculpting station. There's a huge block of wood on it. "Hey, what do you plan on doing with that wood?"

"I'm going to bash you over the head with it because you didn't tell me what you were thinking." she says with her teeth slightly clenched. 

I laugh. "That would hurt." I say, still avoiding her question.

"Fine then. Don't tell me." she says with a mock sigh. "I guess I'll just have to imagine what you could be thinking."

 "Really? And just what might that be?" I ask, wondering what she's thinking I'm thinking.

She looks back at me over her shoulder and shakes her head slightly. "Oh no. If you're not going to tell me then I'm not talking either."

Damn.

  She turns more fully to look at me as I say, "I'm thinking... well, I was wondering..." Her eyebrows raise expectantly, aggravating the hell out of me, but not in a bad way. However, it makes me lose my train of thought. She sighs and blinks her eyes once before I say, "Oh, to hell with it..."

My arms tighten around her as I show her what I was thinking since I couldn't keep from being distracted as I tried to tell her. At first, she acts startled, but that doesn't last long. I hadn't really really kissed her since a few days ago right after the first time she kissed me, and I had no idea until this moment how badly I needed to. I feel like a caged animal has just been released inside of me... some kind of big cat.

My arm slides down her leg and I pull her into my lap. About that time she pulls her head back, panting for air. I guess breathing is important too I think, and I decide to take a breather a moment... only for a moment though.

"So that's what you were thinking?" she asks breathlessly.

I feel a grin spread across my face as I flip my hair out of my face. "Something like that." I say as I adjust her legs across my lap. She reaches up and brushes the rest of my hair out of my face, then lets her fingertips trace their way down the side of my face to my chin. 

 Her other hand is just sort of suspended in midair so I lean down and kiss her fingers. I hear her intake of breath, and I lift my head up a little to see what for. The wild animal inside of me roars again from the expression on her face.

 I kiss her again, but it's not enough. It's just not enough anymore. I reach my hand up to cup her face to me. Still not enough I think as I lean into her. She reaches up to grab hold of my shoulder as we fall into the couch.

 As her back hits the arm of the couch, she breaks this kiss from the shock of it. That doesn't stop me, though. I continue kissing her down the side of her face, and start exploring her neck and shoulders. I can feel her ragged breathing as her chest rises and falls against me. Definitely not enough. I move myself back and pull her hips towards me.

 She says my name once before I reclaim those beautiful lips. I love feeling her beneath me as I not-so-leisurely explore her mouth.

When is it going to be enough? I wonder..... What if....

"Too much!" she says as she almost roughly turns her face aside. Her eyes cut over to me and watch me suspiciously. I don't know why.

I roll off of her slightly and put myself between her and the back of the couch, laying on my side. The sight of her laying there, panting for air, on the couch makes me desperate to kiss her again, but then I see her expression. Is that fear? Nerves? What!?

"I'm sorry, Xavier. I just wasn't ready for that. It's just... too much." she tries to explain as she sits up and stands.

I lay there, looking up at her now, and try to imagine what just happened from her perspective. Huh. I guess I was starting to look out of control. Well... maybe I was. Was I? Am I supposed to apologize? Why should I need to? She's my freakin' girlfriend after all. 

 I then notice that she's walked over to the door. She's leaving?

"Where are you going?" I ask while hopping up from the couch.

"I just thought I should probably go." she says as she watches me walk over to her.

"But you just got here!" I complain before that sweet smile graces her face once more. I love that smile, and I can't help but smile in return.

 "Don't go. I'm sorry. I just... couldn't help it." I say as I pull her to me. I decided to go ahead and apologize anyway, hoping that that's what she wanted to hear.


"My mom has been complaining I'm never at home anymore anyway." she says and I think, Right. You never bothered worrying about your mom before. The expression on her face tells me that there's more to her leaving than her worrying about her mom. I have really made her nervous or scared or something.

"Xavier, I'm sorry." she says when she sees what must be a look of confusion on my face. "I just... wasn't ready for that is all. So I need a little while to myself." Now that's the truth. I can believe that. "I didn't expect that out of you." she continues. "I think I've created a monster." she smiles.


I get it. She's liked me for years and now we're finally, at least in her eyes, a couple and then I go and practically attack her.

"Not created one. I view it as more set one free." I say and she smiles widely in agreement.

"Like a caged tiger?" she asks.

I laugh up to the ceiling. Again, she gets me. "Exactly." I say and kiss her again as the tiger in me purrs.


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(I'd like to thank, again, tommiegirl_ca for Hugh, aka Luke. I miss reading your blog while you're taking your break. I need a Luke fix, so I'm putting him in for a little while again,. XD lol. And sorry, I had to change his hair. He'll be in the next chapter with Elena again.)


(oh.. and the whole "block of wood" innuendo didn't hit me until I proofed this haha!)