(Yes, it says 18.1... I numbered the chapters during and then later on, and when I tried to make sense of it, I realized I got off by one somewhere... Later I skip one. So, yeah.)
(originally posted on 10/01/2011)
Wednesday
The day passes like any other. After work, I go looking for wild seeds. I don't really know why because my garden is plenty big enough. I just have this urge to harvest wild plants. On my way back to the road to hail my magical taxi, I find Greg at a campsite.
Greg: Elena! What are you doing out here?
Me: I was off finding more things to put in my garden. What are YOU doing here?
Greg takes a big breath: Just out enjoying the fresh air. I needed to come out here to clear my head.
He sits down on the grass and looks back at the stars.
He smiles: I heard from a coworker today that you got pretty wild last night.
Me: Yeah, this morning wasn't fun. I'm still trying to get rid of my headache a bit.
Greg: Well, sit down for a minute and rest. Need any meds?
Me: Oh, no, I took some, they're just not helping much.
He pats the ground next to him, and I sit. 'Danger.' a little voice in my head says. I don't know if I want to sit this close to him. I feel drawn to him like a moth to the flame. Really, one just flew right into the fire. What is this feeling? Butterflies in my stomach?
Me: So, have you been seeing anyone recently?
Why do I want him to say no?
Greg: I saw this one girl, Megan, a few nights ago. IIII don't know if it's gonna work out, though.
I said a little too brightly: Really? Why not?
Greg: She has this overprotective brother. Can't remember his name.
Me: You don't want to get in another fight.
Greg: It's not that. I just don't really think I like her enough to make it worth it.
What am I doing? I need to get up and walk away. I'm a married woman. John, I tell myself. Think about John. I just can't.
Greg interrupts my thoughts: It just doesn't seem worth it to go out with anybody now.
Me: That's silly. Why not?
Greg: Because it's not fair to the girl if no matter how hard she tries, she can't be the one I want.
I look down at my feet.
He leans in close and whispers in my ear: Every night...you're in
my dreams. Sometimes I can't wait to fall asleep so I can be with
you.
I can't breathe. He starts touching my face, just lightly drawing imaginary lines. Remember those butterflies? Yeah, they're eating me alive right now. I have to come to my senses.
Me: Greg.
He interrupts: You never really gave me a chance, Elena. We shared one beautiful night. Next thing I know, you're dating John. I turn around again and you're engaged. You broke my heart.
Me: Why didn't you tell me how you felt?
Greg: I'm not one to break a couple up. It drove me mad waiting for him to screw up.
Me: But there was that one time. When John and I had that big fight.
Greg: Yes, I was going to give you a few days to get over him. Then I planned on sweeping you off your feet again. But, he outmaneuvered me once more. You guys got back together. So, I thought I'd try to make you see the darker sides to his character. I made a fool of myself at that party.
Me: You could've told me this the night before my wedding.
Greg: As I recall you told me in a few words that you'd chosen him. When John stormed in on us you didn't try to tell him off for talking to me like that.
Me: I just wanted him to calm down. I sat up most of the night trying to sort out my feelings. I was already engaged to marry John, so I decided to go along with that decision. I knew you'd be able to find someone else.
Greg: I hated your wedding day. I thought I'd be able to handle it. It was all I could do not to scream into the rafters how much I loved you and for you not to marry him. I've been trying since then to find someone else. I don't want someone else. It's taken me a while to realize that. I can never love anyone the way I love you.
I stand up real quick. A little too quick. He jumps up and catches
my shoulder to keep me from falling over. I shove his hand off me.
Me: How can you tell this to me now? Why tell me you love me now?
Greg: I may never get another chance like this. I came out here to try to work on getting you out of my head when voilá! You show up.
I start crying. I hate it when I do that!
Greg: Why are you crying?
Me: Too many emotions! I guess? Greg, this isn't fair.
Greg: Life's not fair. Ugh. I hate that cliché. Wait. (he looks up hopefully) You mean you still feel something for me?
Me: Yes, although I shouldn't.
He starts to pull me closer like he wants to kiss me.
Me: No!
I step back, and he catches my arm.
Greg: You have feelings for me, Elena. You can't deny it.
Me: But I shouldn't feel this! I can't! Why?
I start shivering. It's getting cold, and I don't have a jacket.
Greg: Elena, you're shivering. It's a long way back into town.
Come inside the tent and we can just talk. You can use my sleeping bag.
Just talking. I promise.
I don't want to leave. I need to settle this. I JUST CAN'T do this.
We talk for hours and hours. I finally have to admit...to
myself...that I love him. Eventually, I pass out. I dream about him.
I awake to find him sleeping next to me -- outside the sleeping bag. He has one arm draped across me and the other under his cheek. I slowly get out of the sleeping bag without waking him, and I head home...hoping against hope that I make it home before John wakes up.
He wakes up as I'm getting dressed and gets out of bed as I walk towards him.
John: What time did you get in last night?
Me: Late.
Too late, I thought.
John: I must've been completely out. I don't remember hearing it.
Me: I tried to be real quiet.
I hate to lie. Well, it is a half-truth I guess.
John: You need to stop going out so late at night so much. I miss you when you're not here. I just have so much work to do or I'd go with you.
Me: Okay, no problem, I can stay home more. I wish you didn't have to work so hard.
John: I like my job. But thank you for staying home more. We'll go out enough so you can tame the wild party beast that's inside you.
He smiles again with those beautiful teeth of his.
He starts to head off to the bathroom to take a shower.
What am I doing? How can I do this? How is it that I love two men?
'You always have,' my inner voice says.
(originally posted on 10/01/2011)
The day passes like any other. After work, I go looking for wild seeds. I don't really know why because my garden is plenty big enough. I just have this urge to harvest wild plants. On my way back to the road to hail my magical taxi, I find Greg at a campsite.
Greg: Elena! What are you doing out here?
Me: I was off finding more things to put in my garden. What are YOU doing here?
Greg takes a big breath: Just out enjoying the fresh air. I needed to come out here to clear my head.
He sits down on the grass and looks back at the stars.
He smiles: I heard from a coworker today that you got pretty wild last night.
Me: Yeah, this morning wasn't fun. I'm still trying to get rid of my headache a bit.
Greg: Well, sit down for a minute and rest. Need any meds?
Me: Oh, no, I took some, they're just not helping much.
He pats the ground next to him, and I sit. 'Danger.' a little voice in my head says. I don't know if I want to sit this close to him. I feel drawn to him like a moth to the flame. Really, one just flew right into the fire. What is this feeling? Butterflies in my stomach?
Why do I want him to say no?
Greg: I saw this one girl, Megan, a few nights ago. IIII don't know if it's gonna work out, though.
I said a little too brightly: Really? Why not?
Greg: She has this overprotective brother. Can't remember his name.
Me: You don't want to get in another fight.
Greg: It's not that. I just don't really think I like her enough to make it worth it.
What am I doing? I need to get up and walk away. I'm a married woman. John, I tell myself. Think about John. I just can't.
Greg interrupts my thoughts: It just doesn't seem worth it to go out with anybody now.
Me: That's silly. Why not?
Greg: Because it's not fair to the girl if no matter how hard she tries, she can't be the one I want.
I look down at my feet.
I can't breathe. He starts touching my face, just lightly drawing imaginary lines. Remember those butterflies? Yeah, they're eating me alive right now. I have to come to my senses.
Me: Greg.
He interrupts: You never really gave me a chance, Elena. We shared one beautiful night. Next thing I know, you're dating John. I turn around again and you're engaged. You broke my heart.
Me: Why didn't you tell me how you felt?
Greg: I'm not one to break a couple up. It drove me mad waiting for him to screw up.
Me: But there was that one time. When John and I had that big fight.
Greg: Yes, I was going to give you a few days to get over him. Then I planned on sweeping you off your feet again. But, he outmaneuvered me once more. You guys got back together. So, I thought I'd try to make you see the darker sides to his character. I made a fool of myself at that party.
Me: You could've told me this the night before my wedding.
Greg: As I recall you told me in a few words that you'd chosen him. When John stormed in on us you didn't try to tell him off for talking to me like that.
Me: I just wanted him to calm down. I sat up most of the night trying to sort out my feelings. I was already engaged to marry John, so I decided to go along with that decision. I knew you'd be able to find someone else.
Greg: I hated your wedding day. I thought I'd be able to handle it. It was all I could do not to scream into the rafters how much I loved you and for you not to marry him. I've been trying since then to find someone else. I don't want someone else. It's taken me a while to realize that. I can never love anyone the way I love you.
Me: How can you tell this to me now? Why tell me you love me now?
Greg: I may never get another chance like this. I came out here to try to work on getting you out of my head when voilá! You show up.
I start crying. I hate it when I do that!
Greg: Why are you crying?
Me: Too many emotions! I guess? Greg, this isn't fair.
Greg: Life's not fair. Ugh. I hate that cliché. Wait. (he looks up hopefully) You mean you still feel something for me?
Me: Yes, although I shouldn't.
He starts to pull me closer like he wants to kiss me.
Me: No!
I step back, and he catches my arm.
Greg: You have feelings for me, Elena. You can't deny it.
Me: But I shouldn't feel this! I can't! Why?
I start shivering. It's getting cold, and I don't have a jacket.
I don't want to leave. I need to settle this. I JUST CAN'T do this.
I awake to find him sleeping next to me -- outside the sleeping bag. He has one arm draped across me and the other under his cheek. I slowly get out of the sleeping bag without waking him, and I head home...hoping against hope that I make it home before John wakes up.
John: What time did you get in last night?
Me: Late.
Too late, I thought.
John: I must've been completely out. I don't remember hearing it.
Me: I tried to be real quiet.
I hate to lie. Well, it is a half-truth I guess.
John: You need to stop going out so late at night so much. I miss you when you're not here. I just have so much work to do or I'd go with you.
Me: Okay, no problem, I can stay home more. I wish you didn't have to work so hard.
John: I like my job. But thank you for staying home more. We'll go out enough so you can tame the wild party beast that's inside you.
He smiles again with those beautiful teeth of his.
What am I doing? How can I do this? How is it that I love two men?
'You always have,' my inner voice says.
I knew it. Now she has a lot to think over and worry about. I hope John doesn't turn into a monster when he finds out about her night away because I suspect he will find out. Work isn't the most important thing in life and he should feel ashamed to place work before his family.
ReplyDeleteJohn has always been driven to get his dream job, so he works five times harder than anyone else in that department. BUT you're right. He's forgetting what's really important, and if he doesn't watch it, he could lose it. And he could lose it, the other meaning, if he (or should I say when he) finds out about Greg. He's never liked Greg, but their history gets built later.
Delete