Elena
I go back home and wonder where John is. I can kind of hear his voice down the hall in Xavier's old room.
When I go in there I see him sitting and reading X-man a story. Sometimes Xavier still sleeps in this room, especially if he's feeling unsafe for some reason. John has been great helping him as he helps me.
He is SUCH a GOOD dad.
Why is he reading a mixology book to him?
John: And this is the fine art of shaken, not stirred. See the diagram?
Xavier: Cool.
John turns to me and smiles before turning back to Xavier. My heart melts.
John: And don't forget, the straw or stir is VERY IMPORTANT. A straw or stir can make or break a drink. You wouldn't put a heart shaped stir in a sorrow annihilator now would you?
Xavier: Nope. That would be so wrong.
John: Exactly.
Xavier: So where are the measuring cups so you can make sure you get the exact amount of each nectar for each drink?
John: You don't have to measure, sometimes you just wing it.
I doubt Xavier will ever be the type to 'wing it'.
They talk more about exact measurements vs. random mixtures before Xavier starts yawning real big. Finally, he slumps down and falls asleep. John kisses him goodnight.
Okay... so why does he look so hot doing that? I guess because of the contradiction. John exudes this strong "tough cop" persona, yet to his kids, he's just Daddy. I love that man.
He walks over to dislodge Ben's toy's hand from out of his mouth. I hadn't even noticed.
Then he walks over to me with a content look on his face.
Me: How do you do that?
John looks confused: Do what?
Me: That. Just automatically know what to do with them.
John quietly chuckles: You do it too, Elena.
I shake my head: Not lately. And I was never like that. Like you are.
John just smiles: I really have no idea what you're talking about.
Me: Well, like I never even noticed Ben was sucking on his doll's hand.
John: He would've been fine if I hadn't have gone and taken it out. It's not like his nose is stuffed up.
Me: But still, I never noticed.
John: Elena, you've got to give yourself some credit here. You're a good mom. You can't help it that things have been crazy lately.
Me: Hah. Things always seem to be crazy for me. It's just the recent past has been even more crazy than normal.
John: Things should calm down now. That will be nice.
Me: Until the bottom drops out again.
John: Don't let it.
Me: I didn't LET it earlier.
We're quiet now. John just stands there and stares at me. I can't meet his eyes for very long, so I look away. I can still feel him staring at me.
What is he thinking about? Yeah, I remember, I probably don't want to know. Well, what if I DO want to know? Why does he have to stare at me that hard?
I start studying the pattern the grains in the wood make while John stares. I wonder if he's just wondering what to say. Does he expect me to say something? Okay, the quiet is getting on my nerves now.
John: Let's get out of the house a minute.
I nod.
So, we walk outside to the front of the house.... and John sits down on the sidewalk. He pats the ground next to him.
Me: I thought when you said 'Get out of the house' you meant a little more out than this.
John: No, this is good. Come here I want to show you something.
I sigh and sit down next to him.
John: See the moon?
I look up: Yes, of course I do.
John: See the bright stars next to the moon?
Me: Yeah. They're not usually there are they? Not like that anyway. Okay I don't really know actually.
I can almost hear John smile: They're not actually stars. That's Jupiter, and that's Venus.
Me: Oh.
John: And, as I'm sure you know, Venus is also Aphrodite, and Jupiter is..
Me: Zeus.
Me: Are you going to make more Zeus references?
John chuckles: Yes, actually.
Me: What, have you changed your mind and decided you actually ARE him?
John: No. But I'm pretty sure you're Aphrodite.
There's a trace of sarcasm in my voice: Mhm.
John: Well? Okay, so maybe she's your mom.
Definitely sarcasm now: Right.
John acts undaunted by my sarcasm: Ever hear about Zeus and Aphrodite getting it on romantically?
I can't help but laugh when he says "getting it on".
John smiles: Well have you?
Me: I don't know.
John: I haven't. I think I know why. I think he knew better than to mess with her.
Me: They ARE just stories, John.
John shrugs: All the same it means you're safe from him.
I sigh exasperatedly and roll my eyes: Is this why we're sitting here on the sidewalk in the middle of the night?
I turn and look at him with a slightly-smiling glare.
He answers my glare in a very unexpected way.
Okay, so call me Aphrodite? That's really nice of him. Well, if I'm Aphrodite then he's Aries. Makes sense.
Me: John. This isn't comfortable.
John smiles: No, it isn't is it?
He stands then pulls me up to him.
I get a slight head rush from standing up so fast. John is already holding me anyhow, so he keeps me from falling over.
Me: So where were you going with the whole Aphrodite thing anyway?
John shrugs: We needed to get out of the boys' room. And then I thought about you being Aphrodite and all, and then I remembered that Venus and Jupiter look really cool lately. So that made me want to look at the stars.
Me: On the sidewalk?
John: Yeah. But inside I was thinking something...
Me: What?
John: Stop the whole "I'm a bad mom" thoughts right now okay?
Me: But I am.
John: No, I know bad mom. You're not it.
Me: Oh? How am I not like her? Because I certainly have jumped from man to man like her.
John: No, just two. That's nothing compared to her.
Me: Huh.
John smiles: So stay with this one.
I smile back: I intend to.
I hope you honestly don't think that I'd leave you again.
John: You never really had a relationship with your mom, did you?
Me: Nope. Neither of them. I don't think she wanted me.
John: Of course not, she was busy up on Mt. Olympus.
Me: Oh brother.
He laughs.
Me: You're in a strange mood tonight.
He grins now: Let's get married... tomorrow.
Do what?!
John smiles at the look of shock on my face.
Me: Um...
John: You got the dress, so we'll have a small thing with just the kids and us. Maybe my brothers.
I continue to stare at him in mute shock.
John: What.. you've decided you don't want to?
Me: I didn't say that. I'm just trying to keep up.
John: Okay, so ... tomorrow?
I laugh because his face reminds me of a toddler asking for a cookie: Why the hell not?
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