43: Time Heals All Wounds

(originally posted 02/05/2012)

(I have no idea what happened, but Tuesday is missing. It was a boring day anyway. Elena and Greg avoided each other, and Elena calls John but gets his voicemail. When Greg goes to work and doesn't say anything, Elena cries herself to sleep when she goes to bed early.)

Wednesday

I wake up at three in the morning to the sound of Greg's guitar downstairs. Since I went to sleep early last night, I'm now wide awake. And hungry.


Greg: Hello.

I ignore him and go to the kitchen to eat some leftover fruit parfait.

Greg: Real mature, Elena.

I still ignore him, he continues playing and occasionally glancing over at me. Since I'm trying to not look at him, I can't gauge his mood very well. I kind of sense he's miffed. I don't blame him; I am too. I finish eating and rinse the plate in the sink before putting it in the dishwasher.

Greg: Would Mrs. Elena Turner come and speak with her husband?

He stops playing the guitar for a moment and raises his head to look at me. He's in that disgusting uniform again. I'm glad we have a laundry service because I would hate to touch that thing. I can feel his gaze boring a hole through me as I look out the window above the sink.

That's where she stood when he went out to comfort her. Keep this in mind, Elena. He went to her, not you, first.


I sigh exasperatedly as I decide it's finally time to talk.

Me: Alright.

I walk over to him, and Greg acts incredibly interested in making sure he's got this one fingering right. Fine, I deserve that. You get to ignore me for a moment.


He looks up at me finally, snorts, and puts his guitar away.

Greg: Oh? You're talking to me now?
Me: Well you were quiet too yesterday.
Greg: I assumed you needed space, so I left you alone. I also assumed you didn't want a repeat of Monday.
Me: No, I didn't. I wasn't even ready to talk yesterday, but I am now.
Greg says with false happiness: Oh goodie! Elena is finally going to talk to me. Aren't I just the luckiest?
Me: Well, if you don't want to talk it's no skin off my back.


Greg: I've been going crazy here. This is exactly why I never told you. I knew you'd do this. I didn't think it would be THIS bad, though.
I say sarcastically: Oh yes, this must be VERY hard for you.
Greg: It is! I admit I screwed up, and I want to have a fresh start. I want things to be like this never happened.
I say quietly: I wish they could be.


Greg gets a look of hope in his beautiful eyes: They can! Who else is it up to but us?
Me: Sylvia.
Greg winces: She doesn't matter. I don't think our friendship can continue.
Me: Yeah, except you see her every day at work!
Greg: I don't want to talk about Sylvia! I want to talk about us.


Me: But Sylvia IS now part of this "us". You let her creep in between us. Sounds like it was pretty darn easy, too. How do I know you're not going to do that again?
Greg nearly interrupts me as I finish my sentence: The way I have felt all this time? It's awful. I have no wish to experience that again. To see the way you looked lovingly at me sometimes... It killed me to know that I didn't deserve it, but if I told you... well, this could happen.
My voice catches a little as I take in a breath: You're damm right, Greg! You didn't deserve it! (I get a little louder.) Tell me, what would you think? What would you do if I cheated on you? (even louder) I know... I saw it in the bar last weekend! So what? Am I supposed to go beat up Sylvia now?



Greg: Shh! You're going to wake up the kids!

I stand there panting while trying to calm myself down. Greg watches me with remorse plainly written on his face.


Greg: Again, it's up to us-to you and me-what to do about this. You CAN trust me. I realize I have no way to prove it...except time. I'd love the opportunity to do just that, Elena darling.

I want so desperately to believe him, but I won't lie to myself. I don't believe him. Still... it would be so easy to just go back to the way things were. But can I respect myself for taking him back after what he did to me? I close my eyes and sigh.


Greg says after a pause: Please give me that chance.
Me: But could I ever relax enough to trust you again? Do I want to live my life constantly wondering if you're cheating on me again? I don't think so.


Greg looks hurt: So, what are you saying? Are you saying you've decided to divorce me? Are you going to kick me out? Because I'll walk out this door right now if that's the case. I'm trying here, Elena!


I feel like I've been knifed in the gut when he said the word divorce.

Me: No, I don't want a divorce, Greg. I don't want that.

It's Greg's turn to stand there panting and trying to calm down his temper.

He finally calms down: Then what is it you DO want?
I'm quiet.


Greg: Elena darling, please! Please tell me what I can do to try and fix this!


Me: I want time, Greg. Time to heal. I love you, but you've hurt me. I want to establish a sense of trust again.
Greg sighs in defeat like this isn't the answer he wants: Alright. (He yawns.) Let's go get some more sleep before you have to go to work.


As wide awake as I was, I can't believe I'm so tired now that I fall almost immediately asleep. My alarm goes off at six, as usual. I find that Greg has wrapped his arm around my waist while I slept. I scoot out of bed to take care of Ben and leave Greg's arm draped over my side of the bed.


When I go back into the bedroom to get ready for work, Greg quickly walks over to me from the bathroom where he was brushing his teeth. He leans down like he's going to kiss me.

Me: Uh, no, Greg. I don't want to even go that fast.



He looks so sad I almost want to cry.

Greg: I don't even get to kiss you good morning?


Me: I told you. I need time.

Greg looks down at the floor. He looks sad at first, then he glances up at me. His eyes dart back down to the floor. Suddenly his eyes narrow and he pops his head back up.

Greg: Just how much **** time are you talking about here, Elena "darling".

This last darling was said in an angry, snide tone. My heart sinks into my stomach. What is he playing at? I get the feeling he thinks all the "time" I need is a few days, weeks. I don't know if he has any idea. Or the right idea.


I angrily look away: I don't think you understand what I mean by "time", Greg. We are back to square one.

I walk into the bathroom to take a shower. I lock the door. My presumptions were correct, he tries to come in. I'm not falling for the seduction route.


I get out of the shower and Greg talks to me through the door.

Greg: I give up, Elena. You're right, I don't know what you mean. I don't know what you want. I tried.

I hear him go downstairs and open and close the back door. He must be working out. I finish getting ready and leave for work as Demarco leaves on the bus.




















Good grief what a day! It was my first day back from my maternity leave, and I had a lot of work to catch up on.

I worry what Greg will say to me before he heads out to work. To my surprise, our babysitter walks down the stairs.

Jarred: Hello, Mrs. Turner. Mr. Turner called me and had me come babysit. He left you a note. Well, I'm done now so see you! Don't worry, Mr. Turner already paid me.

I get a sinking feeling. I find the note Jarred mentioned on the countertop next to the fridge.

Dearest Elena,

If you are reading this then that means that I have already left. If you want to start back at square one then that's what we will do. I'll get my own place and live there. Demarco has gone back to Betty.

Square one means square one. I think we should get a divorce. It would be nice to date again sometime in the future, if that's what you want. If not, then, well, we tried.

Greg

...
The note falls to the floor.

The next thing I know I'm hearing Ben screaming at the top of his lungs. I'm laying on the floor of the kitchen still in my work clothes. I scramble up and go to take care of Ben.