60: Clouded Reasoning

(originally posted 03/04/2012)

Saturday

(I had that annoying error code 12 again. I managed to save the bar at least. Unless, that's the one that is the .bad. I did save it to my library this time, however. I hope it's not something in that Irish pub CC that's doing it. Another thing it might be is when I use the testingcheatsenabled true and then add Laurie to current family thing. /shrug.)

(There is a Marie story in the works, but the guys aren't cooperating. )


I finally convince Laurie that we need to hire another bartender. He reluctantly agrees. I don't think the man has taken a day off since the bar opened!

I did a few quick interviews yesterday and hired a guy named Kenton.

I go inside and greet people as they come in. It looks like it's going to be another busy night. Good, this will be a good test to see if Kenton can hold up under pressure. If he doesn't, I get the feeling Laurie will eat him alive.

Laurie walks in.

Me: Laurie, I thought you were going to stay home tonight! It's your day off for Pete's sake!


Laurie laughs: I was bored sitting at home by myself. I'm not here to work. C'mon, Elena, let's dance. I've not gotten to really try out this dance floor.
I stand there trying to resist his gentle tug on me: But ... I need to ...
Laurie: You don't "need to" anything. Dance with me.

I sigh in defeat and let him drag me onto the dance floor.


Laurie: So, not that you don't look good, but what's with the formal attire again tonight?
I shrug: It's Saturday.
Laurie chuckles again: But every time you've worked at night you're wearing something more than just dress casual.
Me: I don't know, I just feel like when the bar is open I need to dress better than normal.


Me: What... should I not dress up?
Laurie appears to be contemplating his answer: Er ... well, it's not that it's just ... I thought you were one who didn't really relish drawing attention to herself.
It's my turn to chuckle: I don't know. I don't mind it so much here.


Laurie: One would think that since you broke up with Greg and not going steady with John that you're dressing up to catch another man's eye.

My eyes widen in surprise as I feel a jolting sensation stemming from my lower back. Why on earth would he get an idea like that?

Laurie continues: Admit it, Elena. You like the attention.

I'm grateful for the semi-darkness because it hopefully hides my blush. Is he right? He's always been better at reading me than I read myself. What if he's right?

I almost stutter as I try to keep the conversation simple: I don't know. I just know I like dressing up.

We don't talk for a few minutes and just dance.

Laurie breaks the silence: So where's John? I'd expected to see him tonight.
Me: He's out of town. Something to do with work.
Laurie looks concerned for a moment: You haven't started anything serious with him yet, have you?


Before I can answer, my phone rings. I don't recognize the number, but I know it's local. I'm curious if it's another bartender applicant.

Me: One sec, Laurie. (I put the phone to my ear.) Hello?
The phone: Elena?
Me: Yes. Who am I speaking to?
The phone: It's me, Elena darling.

Greg.

Greg: I was hoping I could come by the bar and talk to you tonight.

Not again!


Me: Greg! I have nothing more to say to you!

I can feel my heart rate rise. Laurie stands there looking uncomfortable while scowling towards the bar.

Greg: I miss you.
Me: That's your problem, not mine.
Greg is quiet for a moment before he says: Yeah, I deserved that.
Me: Is that all? I have a business to run here.
Greg: No, that's not all, but I'll leave you alone for now.
I sigh angrily and hang up the phone.


I look back at Laurie: Sorry about that.
Laurie looks angry: Greg again?
Me: Yes. I'm going to have to find that number in my received calls and label it so I don't mistakenly answer it again.
Laurie: Good thinking.

There's something about Laurie's expression that makes me feel uneasy. I quickly try to shake it off.


Laurie: Has he been bothering you lately?
Me: Not really. He's called the house a few times, and he came by last Thursday.
Laurie: Sounds like "bothering you" to me.
Me: It's nothing I can't handle.

I don't like the cold look in his eyes.

Me: Laurie? Are you okay?
Laurie ignores my question and instead poses one of his own: Do you want him to leave you alone?
Me: What do you mean?
Laurie: I mean do you want him to leave you alone?
Me: Yes, I'm sure he will eventually. I've just got to continue to not encourage him.
Laurie gives a non-committal grunt and gets quiet for a while.


Laurie finally speaks: I don't like it when my friends are pestered to death. I'd gladly go over to his place and teach him not to bug you anymore if you'd like.
My eyes widen again: No, Laurie. That won't be necessary.
Laurie suddenly smiles: No need to look so scared, Elena. I wasn't going to do anything that bad.
I breathe a sigh of relief and return his smile: Of course not.
Laurie: He just bugs the hell out of me how he won't stop bugging you.


Me: That's just how he is. He's stubborn sometimes.
Laurie clears his throat: Well, I don't blame him for not giving up. Poor guy.
I try not to laugh: I thought you were glad we broke it off. Now you're on his side?
Laurie: I told you before, I'm not on either of their sides.


Laurie continues: I'd love for you to shove both of them aside. They're getting in the way and keeping you from seeing that someone else finds you smart, sexy, and perfect in almost every way.

Laurie's voice hitches for a second as it looks like he has a hard time not saying something else. He stares at the ceiling and then the floor at his feet. A slight blush creeps up his cheeks as I stand there and watch him.


Does he mean him? Laurie? Oh wow. This is a surprise. Maybe I'm wrong... I shouldn't jump to conclusions like that.

His storm-cloud colored eyes suddenly snap up to mine. Those eyes start out with a calm expression that gradually becomes more and more stormy by the second. For a moment I imagine I can actually see lightning streak across his irises. He looks like he's angry about something before he speaks to me again.

Laurie: I'm going to go give Kenton a test and see if he can handle it.

I stare at one of the lapels on his jacket and silently nod.


Laurie's test turns out to be simple. He merely wants Kenton to prepare several types of drinks to see how he does. The bar patrons get happy with all the free drinks. I know for a fact we can afford it this time.

I decide to try out a drink myself. He did a good job. Certainly better than what I can do.


Laurie watches the happy bar patrons and turns to talk to me: I hope you don't mind this. I should've asked you.
Me: Nah, don't worry about it. We're fine. Great actually.


I get a nervous feeling when he looks at me. I've seen men look at me like that before, but none of them have made me have this nervous, almost scared feeling in my gut.

Laurie: I'm sorry I told you things you didn't want to hear apparently. I'll try to not make my comments and advice so forceful in the future. You're a grown woman and you can make your own decisions.
I try not to look him in the eye: Oh, no, your opinion matters a lot to me. I just get the feeling that things are getting a little personal. (I pause.) I could be wrong, though.


Laurie is quick to answer: You could be right also.

My knees start to shake a little as I can feel his eyes rake across my face. This drink is really starting to go to my head. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten one on an empty stomach.


Laurie: Are you feeling alright, Elena? You're looking a little pale.
I foolishly finish off the drink: Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just maybe I should've eaten something before having that drink.

Laurie chuckles slightly.

Wow, where did the time go? It's almost closing time.

Laurie turns to Kenton and tells him to clear out the bar and clean things up, that he'd be right back to lock up. Then he helps me outside.

Laurie: What you need is some fresh air.
Me: Yes. Good thinking.


He escorts me out to one of the benches we put out in front of the bar before he goes back in to close up. That done, he comes and sits next to me on the bench.

Laurie: Feeling better?
Me: A little. I'm a little cold, and I don't trust myself enough to stand and walk home just yet. Will you sit here with me while I wait for this to wear off?
Laurie's expression brightens slightly.


I'd hoped he would let me borrow his jacket, but instead he scoots over and puts his arm around me.


Laurie: Better?
I look down, a little embarrassed: Well, I'm warmer at least.

He runs his hands up and down my arms to try and warm me up. I notice he has a slightly woodsy smell to him. It's like woods, leather and some unidentifiable spices. It's nice.

My head feels fuzzy.


We sit and talk while we wait for my head to clear. In those moments when we're not talking I hear the cool breezes blow through the trees in the square. The night feels so peaceful to me, but that could be the drink making me feel that way.

We talk about nothing in particular. I get the feeling he's just keeping our conversation simple on purpose.

He's really nice. To think, he comes to the bar anyway on his night off. Then he sits with me now when he could be at home sleeping.


I turn to face him: You know, you didn't have to come to the bar on your night off. You should've stayed at home.
Laurie: You realize YOU haven't had a day off since the bar opened?

I look off into the distance and realize he's right. I shake my head to try and clear it and realize I'm starting to feel a little more clear-headed.


Me: Well, maybe I'll take tomorrow... um, I guess tomorrow is actually today... off. And I'm feeling better now. We'd both better get home and get some sleep.
He suddenly places his hand on mine: Wait.

Shock courses through me as I realize how tightly he has hold of my hand. Due to the approaching dawn, I notice his eyes have that intense, stormy look to them again. Only this time they're a little pleading as well.

Me: What is it, Laurie?
Laurie swallows once: I've tried not to. Honest. But I can't get you out of my head, Elena.
My heart starts hammering in my chest: Tried not to what?

I think I already know the answer.

His hand moves to try and brush my hair over my shoulder. Failing at that, he traces the back of my shoulders to settle his hand back on the far one. Then he pulls me gently back towards him.


I can feel his warm breath against my lips. He now has a firm hold on my shoulder.

Laurie whispers: I think you know, Elena. I've tried not to fall in love with you, but I have. Fallen madly in love with you.


Before I can reply, his lips are on mine. I feel myself start to hyperventilate, and my head starts swimming again. His arm is wrapped around me like an unyielding vise.


Noooo, Laurie! You were supposed to just be my friend. My voice of reason. My teacher of sorts. Now what am I to do?


There is a desperate, demanding feel to his kiss. He must have been holding a lot in for a long time. I'm alarmed because I feel like I couldn't escape if I tried. He has one hand holding my shoulder and occasionally the back of my neck while the other stays at my hip, holding me in place. I try to complacently wait for his kiss to end, almost fearing his reaction should I struggle.

I hear the birds in the square herald the new day as the sun starts to break past the horizon, and he continues to kiss me. The air feels cold and crisp on my bare arms, and he continues to kiss me. I hear one dog start barking in the distance before it is joined by several of its brethren, and he continues to kiss me.

Without warning, he pulls back and stares at me with a look of almost horror on his face.

Laurie: I'm sorry. I need to go. Now.

Not saying another word, he gets up off of the bench and walks quickly away by way of a nearby alley. I sit there in mild shock. My shoulder and hip still feel a phantom of his touch. My lips feel almost bruised.

Shaking slightly, I find my balance as I stand. My mind stays in a state of shock as I walk home.


I get home and find the kids have not gotten up yet. My eyes pass over the empty living room without really seeing it. I let the handrail of the stairs guide me up them. Exhausted, I collapse fully clothed on my bed and pass out almost immediately.